Introduction
“I just paid for plane wifi to type this out. No wonder my wife loses it with me sometimes.”
This honest admission reveals a tension every dedicated coach faces: How much is too much?
The Dedication Problem
Coaching Creep
It starts with sessions and matches. Then planning. Then admin. Then parent messages. Then thinking about it constantly.
Football expands to fill all available time.
Relationship Strain
Partners, children, friends - all compete with coaching for attention.
“You’re always thinking about football” becomes a recurring complaint.
Personal Sacrifice
Sleep. Exercise. Hobbies. Rest.
Dedicated coaches often sacrifice their own wellbeing.
Unsustainable Patterns
Intense dedication might work for a season. Rarely for a decade.
Finding Balance
Define Boundaries
Explicit limits on when coaching happens:
- Sessions at specific times
- Planning during specific windows
- Messages answered during specific hours
- Family time protected
Boundaries require communication and enforcement.
Quality Over Quantity
Hours spent doesn’t equal impact created.
Four focused hours beats eight scattered hours.
Share the Load
“It is very difficult to get people to volunteer to coach. And even more difficult to keep them.”
But finding even partial help creates breathing room.
One assistant. One parent helper. One admin volunteer. Each helps.
Use Systems
Templates. Frameworks. Prepared resources.
Systems reduce the mental load of constant creation.
Say No
Not every request requires yes. Not every opportunity requires acceptance.
Sustainable coaching requires strategic refusal.
Signs You’ve Lost Balance
Constant Fatigue
Always tired. Never recovered.
Irritability
Snapping at family. Frustration with players.
Dreading Sessions
When coaching becomes obligation instead of joy.
Health Issues
Physical symptoms of stress. Neglected health.
Relationship Damage
Serious strain with partner or family.
These aren’t weakness. They’re warning lights.
Sustainable Dedication
Seasons Within Seasons
Intensive periods balanced by recovery periods.
Pre-season intensity. Mid-season steadiness. Off-season rest.
Annual Review
Each year: “Is this level sustainable? What needs to change?”
Support Systems
People who understand coaching demands. Who provide perspective.
Self-Care Non-Negotiables
Some things aren’t sacrificed regardless of coaching demands.
Exercise. Sleep. Key relationships. Personal health.
Remember Why
“It’s about cultivating players who still love playing years down the road.”
You can’t do that if you burn out and quit.
Your longevity serves players’ development.
When Dedication Becomes Unhealthy
Warning Signs
- Coaching becomes identity, not activity
- Personal relationships consistently sacrificed
- Physical or mental health declining
- No joy in the work anymore
- Unable to disconnect
Required Actions
- Honest conversation with trusted people
- Professional support if needed
- Possible break from coaching
- Restructuring of commitment level
Not Failure
Recognising unsustainable patterns and adjusting is wisdom, not weakness.
Conclusion
Dedication to coaching is admirable. But dedication that destroys everything else isn’t sustainable.
Find your balance. Protect your boundaries. Coach for decades, not just seasons.
The players need you healthy and present. That requires dedication AND sustainability.