Introduction
“There is no longevity if you are not good at the people part.” — Brian Willis, FCA Member
This quote from our community captures something most coaching resources miss. Technical knowledge matters. Tactics matter. Session design matters. But none of it matters without the people part.
What I Have Observed
I have watched technically brilliant coaches burn out in two seasons. I have watched average coaches stay for decades because people wanted to be around them.
The difference is rarely knowledge. It is relationships.
Players want to play for coaches who see them as people, not just players. Parents trust coaches who communicate consistently, not just when there are problems. Volunteers stay for coaches who appreciate them, not just use them.
Why Technical Knowledge Has a Ceiling
You can learn every formation. You can master every drill. You can study every tactical principle.
But there is a limit to how much that knowledge helps if:
- Players do not trust you enough to try new things
- Parents do not support you enough to let development happen
- Volunteers do not stay long enough to build consistency
Technical knowledge reaches a ceiling. People skills compound forever.
The Skills That Matter
With players, build trust through consistency. Follow through on promises. Treat everyone fairly. Show genuine interest in their lives beyond football. Deliver honest feedback with care.
“Have connected with a couple within this group as well as several on Twitter and via another coach that runs regular CPD events. All of this has made me a better coach.” — Steve Miles, FCA Member
With parents, manage expectations through communication. Clear messaging upfront. Consistent standards. Transparent decision-making. Appropriate boundaries maintained with warmth.
With volunteers, show appreciation constantly. Regular thanks. Public recognition. Understanding their constraints. Valuing their contribution visibly.
Why Many Coaches Struggle
I recognise myself in the struggle. I have made similar mistakes.
I prioritised content over connection. Hours on session planning, minutes on relationships. Sessions were excellent. Connection was absent.
I avoided difficult conversations. Letting small issues become big problems. Parents who needed honest feedback got none until it was too late.
I assumed understanding. Expecting people to know what I was thinking without communication. Frustrated when they did not.
I took things personally. Responding to challenges as attacks rather than problems to solve. Defensive when I should have been curious.
What I Changed
I started treating people skills as a development priority. Not something I naturally had or did not have. Something I could improve with deliberate practice.
I prepared for difficult conversations before they happened. Thinking through what I would say, how I would listen, what outcome I wanted.
I reflected on interactions after they happened. What went well? What went badly? What would I do differently?
I sought feedback on my communication. Asking parents and assistants how I could improve. Actually listening to what they said.
“I have been reflecting a lot more since joining this community and I have definitely made positive changes to my coaching.” — Stephen Kavanagh, FCA Member
The changes took time. But they showed. Players seemed more comfortable. Parents seemed more supportive. Volunteers stayed longer.
The Long Game
“Players still calling me ‘gaffer’ whenever they see me, years after managing them when you bump into them outside of football. Still really close to a lot of my ex players.” — Jamie Birch, FCA Member
“The biggest achievement is all players I have trained always greeting me when they see me.” — Mark Wiltens, FCA Member
The coaches who stay decades in this game are not always the most sophisticated. They are the ones players remember fondly. The ones parents thank. The ones volunteers return for.
Technical knowledge matters. Tactics matter. Session design matters.
But none of it matters without the people part.
Want to develop the people skills that create coaching longevity?
The Football Coaching Academy is a community of coaches who understand that connection matters as much as content. Join 1,600+ coaches building relationships alongside sessions. $1/month to start.