Introduction
I used to rush home after every training session.
Pack up the cones. Load the car. Drive away while mentally moving on to the next thing. Family dinner. Work emails. Tomorrow’s schedule.
Then I started spending three minutes in my car before driving home. One thing that went well. One thing to change. Overall feeling about the session.
That small habit changed my coaching more than any course or qualification.
What Community Members Say About Reflection
“I have been reflecting a lot more since joining this community and I have definitely made positive changes to my coaching. I am having fun, and I hope the players are. I surveyed them and they appear to be.” — Stephen Kavanagh, FCA Member
“I have been focussing on better detail in my coaching which I have improved. Now it is giving specific feedback to players and using video clips to help them understand and see what I am drawing their attention to.” — Stephen Kavanagh, FCA Member
Reflection leads to specific improvements. Without it, you repeat the same patterns and wonder why nothing changes.
What Those First Three Minutes Revealed
The first evening, I sat in my car after training. One thing that went well. One thing to change. Overall feeling.
What went well: the warm-up game generated good energy. What to change: my passing exercise was too complex for their current level. Overall feeling: frustrated because most of the session did not work.
Those thoughts would normally have disappeared. Instead, I spoke them into a voice memo.
The next session, I remembered the passing exercise problem. I simplified it. It worked better.
That tiny improvement would never have happened without the reflection. I would have run the same complex exercise again, hoping for different results.
Over the next few weeks, patterns emerged that I had never noticed. Certain players struggled in particular situations. My explanations were too long. My warm-ups were better than my main activities. I avoided certain coaching topics because they were uncomfortable.
The session I thought about taught me more than the ten I did not.
The Busy Trap That Keeps Coaches Stuck
Most grassroots coaches do not reflect. They work full-time jobs. They manage family commitments. They squeeze coaching into evenings and weekends. There is rarely time to think.
Sessions happen. Matches happen. Next week arrives. You are doing but not learning.
Without reflection, you repeat mistakes. You miss improvement opportunities. You develop blind spots. You stagnate without noticing.
Building The Habit That Sticks
I developed a three-level reflection system over time.
Immediate post-session reflection takes three minutes in the car before driving home. One thing that went well. One thing to change. Overall feeling. Voice memo if writing feels like a barrier.
Weekly review takes ten to fifteen minutes at a consistent time. What happened this week? What did I learn? What is the focus for next week?
Monthly deep dive takes thirty to sixty minutes to step back. Is the season going as planned? Are players developing? Am I developing? What needs to change?
The key is consistency over perfection. I have missed weekly reviews occasionally. I have never missed the three-minute post-session reflection since starting.
The immediate reflection is non-negotiable. It is when insights are fresh. Wait until tomorrow and they are gone.
What To Actually Reflect On
Think in categories.
Session quality questions: What worked? What did not? Why? What would I change next time? Two minutes of thought beats two hours of unexamined repetition.
Player development questions: Who is progressing well and why? Who is stuck and what is blocking them? Am I giving appropriate attention to each player? Who might I be overlooking?
Self-coaching questions: What am I good at? What am I avoiding? What feedback am I getting? What development do I need?
Team culture questions: How is the energy at training? Are players enjoying it? What is the parent dynamic? Is this sustainable?
I do not cover all categories every session. But rotating through them over weeks gives me a complete picture of my coaching.
The Transformation I Did Not Expect
After six months of consistent reflection, something unexpected happened. My coaching confidence increased dramatically.
Not because I had eliminated mistakes. Because I understood my mistakes. I knew what I was working on. I could see my improvement over time.
Before reflection, my coaching felt like random good days and bad days with no pattern. After reflection, I could trace causes and effects. Bad sessions usually had identifiable reasons. Good sessions revealed approaches worth repeating.
The Question That Reveals Everything
Ask yourself during every monthly reflection: “If I compare my coaching now to three months ago, what is actually better?”
If you cannot answer that question, you are not developing. You are just repeating experience.
Reflection creates the learning that experience alone does not provide. You can coach for twenty years and not improve if you never stop to process what is happening.
You can coach for two years and improve dramatically if you reflect consistently.
I would take the reflecting two-year coach over the non-reflecting twenty-year coach every time.
Starting Today
You do not need a community to reflect. You do not need a mentor. You do not need special tools.
You need three minutes in your car.
Start today. What worked this week? What did not? What will you change?
Speak it into your phone. Write it in a notes app. Scribble it on the back of your session plan.
The format does not matter. The consistency does.
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