Here’s a question every coach should ask themselves:
What does a mirror image of your touchline behaviour look like?
If someone held up a mirror during your matches, reflecting your expressions, body language, and energy back at you - what would you see?
Are you:
- Frustrated?
- Angry?
- Out of breath from shouting?
- Calm?
- Positive?
- Encouraging?
The Image That Matters
Now consider: how do you want it to look?
What is acceptable for a player to look over and see during the game? Because they do look over. Constantly. Young players glance at their coach for reassurance, guidance, and emotional cues.
What they see shapes their experience.
If You Have Children
This becomes even clearer if you have children of your own.
What do you want them to see when they’re playing and look over at their coach? What role do you want that coach to play in their experience of the game?
The answer is obvious when it’s your own child. Apply the same standard to every player you coach.
The Power of Simple Gestures
The messages we send via body language can have huge positive or negative effects on young players.
A thumbs up. A clap. A smile. A simple “well done.”
These small gestures are things all players need from time to time. They cost nothing but deliver enormous value to developing players.
The Environment That Develops Players
Playing in a team or session led by a coach who inspires with their personality and communication will always give a child the best opportunity to develop and enhance their love of the game.
This isn’t about being soft or avoiding challenge. It’s about creating an environment where players feel supported enough to take risks, make mistakes, and grow.
The best learning happens when players feel safe to try things. Your touchline presence either enables that or destroys it.
The Hard Truth
Keep your frustration hidden.
And if you’re ever angry - genuinely angry - during youth football, then maybe it’s time to take a break from coaching.
That’s not a criticism. It’s a recognition that coaching young people requires emotional regulation that isn’t always easy. If you can’t provide it, the players suffer.
Self-Awareness as Development
Self-awareness is a key aspect of your development as a coach.
It’s important to continually analyse yourself. Make sure you’re being the best coach and developer you can be. Ask trusted colleagues or parents for honest feedback about your sideline presence.
The mirror question isn’t comfortable. But asking it - and honestly answering it - is how coaches improve.
Your players deserve the best version of you on that touchline. Every match. Every session.
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